Growing up, I played house a lot. I had a doll house, a Barbie dream house, and a kitchenette and cribs for my baby dolls in the basement. The idea of home was so strong I didn’t always need these props: I played house with a blanket over a card table, a refrigerator box with magic marker windows, or a mansion in the woods with rooms delineated by sticks and leaves. I suspect a sense of home is hard-wired into us. My life in active addiction, however, only had moments of feeling at home, mostly because I used alcohol and drugs to enjoy a party, make a connection with someone, or tolerate household chores. The cornerstone of my addictive life was looking to something outside myself to soothe
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